BIOGRAPHY 1990 - 1995

I finished successfully elementary school and in 1991 I had to choose my future profession. I got two choices.
First was electro-mechanic for computer systems where in row of adepts I was accepted but there was no more space in school for me. They had 100 places for new students and I land on 103rd. Well there was another option and I successfully access to Architectural Engineering School in Kralovske Porici, which was tiny village just by Sokolov.

The choice why this two institutions I choose was easy. By first I always try to build up some functional computer systems and I would understand them. Another opinion was Architectural, because since 7th class in elementary school I draw plans of houses, designed flats and being good enough in Art class was easy to choose this school. Of course there was more than drawing plans and design living room or kitchen. I had to be better in algebra and other fields which you need to learnt to become an architect. Well first year I like it. But I turn into difficult age and when I was just turning 15 I met my first real love. And I never ever can’t forget this love story.
To go to school I had every morning catch the school bus or train to Kralovske Porici at 7 a.m. Every morning I woke up at six, get ready and meet my friend’s front of train station where we were waiting for the school bus. One day, as usual, I went there and my friend Pavel asks if I don’t want to take train. I answered:” why not”. But in the train we become idea that we will not go to school but will to go to Karlovy Vary and spent there all day. As usual we didn’t had much money so we spend all day on train station over there observing people going through. I can’t forget the moment when she went there. It was girl of all my dreams I had and she just opened doors and went there. Yes, I watched her with open mouth but as she comes there, so fast she disappears. Well, at 2 p.m. we went with my friend back to Sokolov, talking all the way long about her. She’s got me, totally. And that’s her story.
Next day, I didn’t thinking about school at all. I just wanted to go to train stations in Karlovy Vary and see her again. My friend Pavel went with me again and we didn’t nothing else as waiting if she come again. Desperately waiting all morning and she still didn’t show up. I have been thinking I will never see her again, just one beautiful girl I’ve seen once in my life. One moment and that’s it. But in this moment when this goes in my mind she came and went to waiting room. Along with her friend. And I along with my friend. We just sit down by next table and play like there is no purpose at all. But we talk laud to be heard about them, giving compliments not in direct way. They heard us and seem to be they got same interests.
In one unusual moment I look in her eyes for a few seconds, but it was like an age time to see her eyes. She answered simply. Don’t look at me!
Well that time, in this moment, I have been sure that I fall like a rock in love.
That day later on I went home and just had nothing else on mind but just like her. I try to write same letter but there wasn’t word which can express my feelings, on the end I just simply wrote “I love you”. I wrote these two words on piece of paper and put I envelope even I didn’t know if I will see her once again, but hope and desire was inside my heart and trust for the future was pushing me forward.
Next day.. , oh man, how lucky I am, I’ve been thinking when I saw her and talk to her again.
On the way back to the Sokolov we took train together and when she get of the train in Chodov where did she lived I wanted give her kiss but it was like, something you want to do so much, but you can’t just make it. at least I gave her my letter for her and in look she gave me it was like she knew what did I write.
I went home, full head of her, even my mother did recognize that something happen to me, but I was.. so happy and confuse too. I’ve been scared if she never response or will refuse my love, in other way I thought that she may be mine forever. Full of day-dreams and imaginations how that thing could be I wait for a week and than come a letter to me from her.
Almost half of the night I have been watching the envelope without opening, thinking what content of words there could be.
When I open it..and read these words I realize that I am the happiest man under the sun… she said YES. She said that she like so much like I love her.
At first chance I’ve got I went to her city.. And our love story was just on beginning.
Almost every day and every weekend I went to see her and be with her, we talk, we walk, we just sit in park, I read her poetry what I wrote for her… it was just beautiful, but our destiny wasn’t to be together and one day it just start raining. There wasn’t such reason or disagreement or powerful discussions, but the love how begins that end. I stood under her windows for weeks, in rain or wind, I just wanted her back, but there wasn’t such a way.
For a year I wrote her letters, cards, sent flowers and presents but there was just silence and no answer.
And after that time it came to be one letter where she said if I want to see her again I should just get on train and come. How crazy that time I have been, how stupid I was I realize that a few years later, because I took the train, I went to see her and I said what I will never forgive myself ever. I said her that I will not jump how she says. Of course we talk about what was and what will be, she told me how she change the life and how she moving to Germany. I was sad, because I did know that she will disappear forever, even I said what I said I was sad.
That time I wrote in school books a year 1994 and because I missed a too much school hours I had to repeat the year once again, my mother when I told her the true, become a mad, and it was just hilarious situation in family, because my mother thought that father have some different relationship behind her back and she smell something. And than I went with this news from school and that was just… bad.
But I had no choice, there wasn’t other way. I was just seventeen I crazy in love to the women… And school was just on other track. But with the end of this, for me unforgettable love story, because I felt deep inside my heart the pure and true love ever, come responsibility to me I had to study but unfortunately situation in family just escalate and when I turn eighteen I just walk out of the home door with the thing on my mind that I will never come back. 11th, August 1995 I hit the road and went to the Prague to find the life, my purpose, my pursuit of happiness.

BIOGRAPHY 1985-1990

In September 1985 I went to third class of 1st grade of elementary school. Elementary school have two grade, first is for four years, learning basics from different fields and second grade is getting more deep in all fields and add more classes. In my time it was four years of second grade too.
From this period I remember too for me seems to be important situations. Once I went to kitchen, and on radio I hear song Holubi dum, it was I think very emotional because I sit down in middle corridor front of the doors and just listen this song. Why? I do not remember. I just know that I had at this time one hamster called Pepík (Joseph), but we buy one female and then we had a lot of hamsters, but only Pepik has been free to move around the flat because when I called him, he always came to me. But one day I went with school class on school in nature for 14 days and when I came back home all hamsters was gone. Even Pepík. My parents never told me truth what happens to them. And to satisfy me they gave me cat which I called Mourek. He died by small earthquake in west part of Czechoslovakia, he was hit by heavy frame of picture which falls from the wall.

In summer 1987 I’ve been playing with all my friends behind house and my mother was talking with her sister not far from me. But as we played and jump and hanging around I fall and I broke my right hand. Well, it hurts, but not so much. I went to my mother and said that my arm is hurting and I can’t move it. We went to medic and yes, result was broken. Doctor fixed and we went late night home. I think I am lucky because until now it is only one fracture I ever had. At same year we moved in new flat just next to historic downtown and for me it was to find new friends in neigh borough, new friends in school. Yep, little a bit difficult, but I did find the right way. Especially in new school 2nd Elementary school in Sokolov. But sometimes from some kids I was like target for laughing. Never mind.
My Mother was working in national organization Hotel & Restaurants as an accountant and father worked as a train driver in coal mines.
A lot of times I visited my mother in work, still I visit my grandma, it was just ordinary childhood with all difficulties and enjoyment. Just in memory goes up how was life in this time. Communism time in Czechoslovakia had some mark that I will never forget. It was hilarious when my father brings home video recorder JVC. All neigh boroughs come to see movies as an Alien with Sigourney Weaver. Or Rocky. And it was prohibited as well. And I think because somebody talked a lot and story goes like my father got the video recorder from uncle from West Germany where he runs illegally cross border. I think my father got fear that could hurt family and him sale the video on black market in Karlovy Vary avoid trouble with STB (state secret police). For me personally was the time when I did starting to feeling that my father liked me less than my brother and sister and just because I wasn't really his son. He always gave me responsibility for all errors and as I remember it wasn't good relationship. In mirror of the time I should say I wanted that he will give me some opportunity or take me to the car and explain how the motor engine function, but he never did. My mother more care about me, in context of my father. For me personally the lap between me and my parents every year get bigger and bigger.

Change came with November 1989,with Velvet Revolution and not only to the nation, but to our family too. I remember how I was watching reports from night 17th, November in television. The Changes come from all people on all squares across republic.

I remember day when Vaclav Havel went to Sokolov make speech and I stand with Czech Flag on fountain and scream:"freedom".

I was 12 years old and I think that help build in me my identity to nation, to freedom, to human rights, and helped to build my hate to communist regime. Maybe but truth is my grandpa from mother side died in communist prison as a political prisoner. He died before my mother turns eighth teen as I know.
It turns in new reality in every corner of city, in every aspect of our lives. That time I went first time to West Germany, my father later on open coffee shop and mother continue work as before for same company, which later did not exist anymore.

BIOGRAPHY 1980-1985

There is not much to write.
We were happy family, living on Hornicka street in Sokolov.

Me, my brother, mother, and father. Of course I remember some stories of my childhood. I remember in year 1980 I went to school for children and that was wonderful. In Sokolov just next to Hornicka street up on the hill was Birch Grove and in middle was the school for children in age between four and six or seven years old, depent on birthday date. We've got a lot of space around and we never been tired to play outside. I still remember the smell of Birch trees in summer when the sun was high up in the sky and all trees gave you peaceful shadow and the sunlight fight through the leaves to the ground to make abstract green-yellow-black pictures with flowers. There we learnt that A is like a roof, etc., we draw pictures, going around the town,

I remember one nice girl. Probably my first love ever, but is funny I remember only the name: Radka, slightly in my mind still appears her face, but that's too far in time.

I just remember that once and I was five years old, I think, when I got accident because she was on "ship" rebound and I wanted to go inside, but unlikely I was not able to stop the rebound from side, so I step in front of to try to stop it and get in. Well I believe I fly over five meters as the rebound hit me to chin and I've got serious injury. I went home with hands full of blood .. Until today I got lively memory on this as a small scar down on chin.
I remember I got huge monkey as a toy, or how we were playing in winter behind house. There is a lot of memories.

On January 19th 1982 was born my sister Pavla Dvorakova but from this time I don't remember a lot. In September 1983 it was for me time to go to real school. It was 4th elementary School in Sokolov just next to my home. I got very nice teacher for first four years. She was old-fashioned women with long curly red coloured hair. Lady Pecenkova was I think around 50 years old, but she was always very kind to everyone even we were sometimes very bad boys, as I remember. I did like her very much. I was with Zdenek Dolezal troublemaker. But even I have been a bit bad boy, I've been good student, mostly in algebra, Czech language, etc. always I've got "A". I remember Alena Cerna, pretty girl which I was dreaming about to kiss her... Once I did, but she didn't await it and I almost broke her teeth. Well yes I think I was a little a bit shy. I remember my friend Jan Hrazdira, which I think was extremely lazy. From the first four years. I remember still more few names of my friend's, but I should take closer look on old photographs to renew memory. Remember 1985 how we were training on "spartakiada" on school courtyard in orange uniforms with some kind of cubes.

But one part of my memories from this time is about my grandmother. Olga Riglova. Until I grow up I didn't understand why mother don't want me to go visit my granny or even talk to her. Well this is the story. My mother was the oldest from three sisters, younger was Jana and youngest was Olina. My mother once explained to me like she makes everything from household until childcare. When she was 18 years old she got some relations or generation problems with her mother and she went out of home and never come back. Since 1975 they did not talk each other or anything. Harder was fact that they've been living on almost the same street just 200 meters far. And for me .. even harder. I loved my grandma, every time after school I went to visit her and always she had for me with open arms. I think that was point when I start to lie to my mother. Of course she sometimes accidentally catch me under window waiting until grandma will open door. But I've got a big dilemma and my mother and grandma never talk one word each other. And I was between. I never will forget.

BIOGRAPHY 1977-1980

My name is Petr Dvorak and I was born in Czechoslovakia in 1977, today Czech Republic.

I spent childhood in small town called Sokolov, which is between towns Cheb and Karlovy Vary in western part near border with Germany, about 160 km, due west from Prague.

My mother Zdenka Ríglová was born in Sokolov 28/03/1957. Father Ing. Eduard Cerny, born in Nejdek (near Karlovy Vary) never married my mother. I didn't know about relationship between my father and my mother, what do I know is that they were never married and in fact I didn't know about my father at all, except name and date from mine Born Certificate. As I know my name was at all Petr Bula, never knew why. I think my father left my mother and the man who was with my mother very shortly let me adopted his surname.

Another fact is when I was two years old my mother married Pavel Dvorak and he adopted me as his own son, but for some reason I change my name when I was 10 years old. My mother's name changed after to Zdenka Dvorakova. I don't remember too many things from first three years of my life, but I remember as I was in year 1980 visiting my mother in hospital just a few days after born day of my brother Daniel Dvorak which was born on 26/10/1980 in Sokolov. I remember that we went my father under window where was my mother and she shows my brother and ask if I like him. I answer with question, as children always do, why is my brother so much ugly. I didn't mean it, in my opinion as I was three years old just normal question. I think it was the same day of his born. Later on when mother went out from hospital I try to help with my brother and as older I try to protect him.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I WISH TO EVERYBODY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 .